Two years ago today I began dating Allen.  Two years ago today I gave him his first kiss, haha.  Two years ago today I had no idea we would still be together right now.  

When you get into a relationship you aren't really thinking if you guys will make it to college, or whatever the next milestone in your life is, you are thinking about how insanely happy you are to be with someone, to not be alone, to be with someone who understands you.  When you first get into a relationship you aren't expecting the fights, the hardships, or any of the baggage that will come, you are thinking about telling your friends the exciting news.  When you first get into a relationship you aren't thinking about what is coming next, or if this will all fall apart in a week, you are focused on the person finally leaning in to kiss you.

At least that's how it was for me.

Two years ago when I started dating Allen all that was on my mind was how happy I was, going to my friends to tell them everything, and finally getting to kiss this boy.  So much has happened in these last two years; so many things have changed, we have discovered baggage, and we have argued and fought, but regardless of all of this I have been so happy during these two years.

When we started dating I really did not expect us to be dating for so long, the person who I was before Allen was not this real winner.  Looking back I realize how fake I could be, I was rude to people I thought were "lower" than me, and I messed with boys heads left and right.  I am not saying any of this because I think it was cool that I could break a guy in two seconds, I am saying this to show how much I have grown and how much has changed.

From the minute I met Allen I was interested in everything about him.  The way he carried himself was different, I instantly wanted to talk to him.  But of course the first time we talked little sophomore me was a bitch.  Haha, as soon as he sat down to be my partner for some activity I acted like I could care less about who he was.  But no matter how cold I was towards him he kept going as if it didn't phase him, and I really don't think it did.  By the end of the activity he had me laughing and joking around with him, he has that effect on a lot of people.  

For some reason I got it into my head that I would get to know him and actually talk to this random stranger, which isn't something I normally do.  For about a month we went on just talking in class and every now and then I would see him at the library and say hi, until one day I stole his notebook.  I know, such an elementary way to flirt, but I just did it.  He chased after me for a little but then disappeared, so I felt bad and decided to give it to the office to give to Allen.  But before I did that I wrote, "Allysa Garza's number: 666-666-6666".  The next day in class I pointed to his notebook, he opened it, re-read it, then winked at me before going back to pay attention.  But being me, and being a sophomore, it was all I could think about for the remainder of class.  So I did something ballsy, I wrote on a sheet of paper, "in case you couldn't tell that's not my real number, so here is the real one".  The bell rang and I imagined myself walking up to him and casually giving it to him and smiling, but yeah thats not how it went.  Im lame and I kind of ran into him and shoved the note in his hand then practically ran to class.  Smooth...I know.  From that day on we talked every day, which led to flirting, which led to hanging out, which led to the day two years ago where he asked me to be his girlfriend.

So I say once again that night when I gave him his first kiss, all I could think about was how crazy happy I was, how excited I was to finally do what I had been wanting to do.  I wasn't expecting us to be together for this long, especially not last at all during him being in college.  But here we are today, together and going through long distance.  

This may sound cliche, but I have no idea how I would be as a person if I had not met Allen.  Of course I have also changed due to other experiences and time, but he had a huge part in my growth.  I have learned how to be a little more patient, and really think for myself.  Before my opinion was basic and shallow, but now I feel like I can think for myself and I form my own opinions even when people I am close to disagree.  

I know there are people that want what we have, but I always try to tell them that you can't force it.  So many people are so eager to be with someone, in love with the thought of being in love, but these things just happen, relationships are the best when you let them come on their own.  I can say this because thats how I used to think, even though I was barely in high school I always wanted something like the movies or books.  But now I'm about to go to college and I am so happy I didn't go for the opportunities that I tried to force.  

Today is a good day.  Today I get to remind Allen why I love him.  Today I get to be reminded that I am loved.  But today I do not get to see him, and while that is sad knowing he loves me is enough.

I get to see him this weekend for prom and I can't wait.