Yesterday was my last full day at home.  Move in is on Friday.  College starts Tuesday.  Those phrases are so weird to me.  At the beginning of summer it felt like years away, heck, even a week ago made it feel like college was so far away.  Yet, here I am, about to leave.  Most of my friends are already gone, so the sadness hasn't hit me as hard, but the feeling is still there. 

Yesterday I spent the day with Allen.  We got an Acai bowl, went to some parks and saw the last Ice Age (which was decent).  When Allen and I were heading home around 5, it hit me that my last day was nearly over.  I couldn't keep it together, I just started bawling.  I wasn't crying because it was my last day with him, or that I was leaving tomorrow, no, I was crying because it was 5 P.M and I hadn't seen my parents all day.  After a good cry session I went home and waited for them to get home from work.  It was really nice.  My mom and I began to pack, then as a family we ate Thai food (from my favorite place ever) and watched Criminal Minds (mu favorite show ever).  Around 9 my cousin Amy and my Aunt Bonnie came over for a little to say goodbye.  For me it was really hard to keep it together, Amy is like a sister to me and babysat me from birth to the age of 13.  My Aunt is like a second mother.  I was really bummed out that her sister Marisa couldn't make it, but seeing them did brighten my mood.  We said goodbye then I went to fall asleep in my bed one last time.

I know I sound so dramatic, it's not like I'm leaving forever, but it all feels so surreal.  We leave around noon so I have a good few hours to take it all in.  I don't know how I'm gonna break it to the dogs, in all honesty they are the hardest goodbye.  

While this is all so bittersweet, I know that college has something good in store for me.  All the years of wanting to become a doctor is finally here.  This is where it really begins, this is where my classes become about what I care about.  I know that college is going to bring my friends, enemies, people that are all necessary in Gods path.  I know that college will bring me both good and bad experiences, college will bring me freedom, college will bring me things that I need to be independent.  I am ready for what college has in store for me, but I am still clinging to my parents and this house.  I am still clinging to comfort.

My mom told me that when she was dropping me off for kindergarten I was the only kid not freaking out about leaving, I was asking why everyone was crying and hiding behind their mothers.  I hope that 6 year old Allysa will show up when my parent officially leave me, because right now I don't know how she did it.

So for now I'm going to make sure I have everything, then probably watch criminal minds with my mom one more time.